The last few weeks have been an intense purging of my heart. God has been showing me my weaknesses, my disappointments, my hopes, my idols, and my needs. There are times when I wish that I never signed up for this intensity of following Christ, and there are times when I celebrate the painful purging and rejoice at the fruit of his love, for me and for others. This morning I was pretty discouraged, and this verse came to me: “For momentary,]]> “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh…Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-5:4 (selections)

The last few weeks have been an intense purging of my heart. God has been showing me my weaknesses, my disappointments, my hopes, my idols, and my needs. There are times when I wish that I never signed up for this intensity of following Christ, and there are times when I celebrate the painful purging and rejoice at the fruit of his love, for me and for others. This morning I was pretty discouraged, and this verse came to me: “For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.” The pain that I feel, the hopelessness of my broken self, is eclipsed in the glory of God. The glory that I can’t see yet, but I will see it.

We do groan. It’s painful to live on earth. People disappoint us, darkness still tempts us, sickness darkens our door, and all we can do is groan, lament, and cry out to the God who can save us. We don’t want to be clothed in these earthen vessels. We want to be clothed in the righteousness of Christ, righteousness that has purged all of our disoriented desires, our sin, and our pain. We are burdened by pain. We are burdened by life. We want our mortal body to be swallowed up by life, eternal life.

For today, I find comfort in these verses. Tomorrow I may be once again singing my lament. But I’m learning to trust the one who knows the song. He’s not afraid of key changes, minor keys, repeats, and ritardandos. He is teaching me this beautiful song, but to be honest, sometimes I hate the song he’s teaching me. It doesn’t sound beautiful, and it’s stretching and challenging to my limited ability. But one day, I will know the song to sing with the masses in heaven, and it will sound beautiful in the chorus of redeemed creation. I may not understand it right now, but one day I will. One day, I will.

Jesus, draw me ever nearer As I labour through the storm. You have called me to this passage, and I’ll follow, though I’m worn.

May this journey bring a blessing, May I rise on wings of faith; And at the end of my heart’s testing, With Your likeness let me wake.

Jesus guide me through the tempest; Keep my spirit staid and sure. When the midnight meets the morning, Let me love You even more.

May this journey bring a blessing, May I rise on wings of faith; And at the end of my heart’s testing, With Your likeness let me wake.

Let the treasures of the trial Form within me as I go – And at the end of this long passage, Let me leave them at Your throne.

May this journey bring a blessing, May I rise on wings of faith; And at the end of my heart’s testing, With Your likeness let me wake.

Not that twenty-five is “old,” but the older I get the more I realize that life is never going to have a long enough season of “good.” The bad times may always outweigh the good times, and even in the serene times there may always be something bad looming in the shadows. There is a song that begins by saying, “Wonderful is what I perceived this life to be, pain and problem free, but over time I found reality, and through it all I see You’re the only one who gets me.” I think I lived many years expecting that because Jesus was in my life turning all things into good that everything WOULD be good. I think I expected that I would never have to wait – never have to trust with longing heart to see Him come through. Why should I if He’s always with me, right?

Now I see that He doesn’t really work that way. He’s not about me; I’m supposed to be about Him. Don’t get me wrong; He loves us with a passionate love. Just like the song above says, “You’re the only one who gets me;” He is the only one who gets us, who loves us, who created us, who causes us to have hope for tomorrow. His hand reaches in to our inner places and heals the hurts, the pains, the rejection, and the disappointments so that in their place He can set up his hope and his love.

But that’s just it. He heals us, but the hope is]]> There was what I call a “Jesus Sky” as I drove in to work this morning. You probably have seen one. From a small breaking, the circle of the sun shines brightly through billowing clouds, and a just few feet down from the sun are smaller openings with long misty rays reaching for the earth. When I was little, I would pretend I could see Jesus floating down on one of the rays, coming back to get us. This morning, I have to admit, with expectant ears, I longed to hear the trumpet blast.

Not that twenty-five is “old,” but the older I get the more I realize that life is never going to have a long enough season of “good.” The bad times may always outweigh the good times, and even in the serene times there may always be something bad looming in the shadows. There is a song that begins by saying, “Wonderful is what I perceived this life to be, pain and problem free, but over time I found reality, and through it all I see You’re the only one who gets me.” I think I lived many years expecting that because Jesus was in my life turning all things into good that everything WOULD be good. I think I expected that I would never have to wait – never have to trust with longing heart to see Him come through. Why should I if He’s always with me, right?

Now I see that He doesn’t really work that way. He’s not about me; I’m supposed to be about Him. Don’t get me wrong; He loves us with a passionate love. Just like the song above says, “You’re the only one who gets me;” He is the only one who gets us, who loves us, who created us, who causes us to have hope for tomorrow. His hand reaches in to our inner places and heals the hurts, the pains, the rejection, and the disappointments so that in their place He can set up his hope and his love.

But that’s just it. He heals us, but the hope is still being projected – like a movie projected onto a wall. There will be times when I feel like God is projecting and projecting, but will never deliver. There will be times when I feel like I have no more tears to cry. There will be times when I am so angry with Him I wonder if my hip is going to go out of place like Jacob’s. There will be times when He seems so far away I will wonder if I could ever touch Him in the first place.

But the hope is always projected – like Noah’s rainbow in the sky. Jesus is coming. It may be that in my eyes it’s taking forever. It may be that in my eyes it would be easier for Him to just take us up with him – I wouldn’t mind having a cup of coffee with Paul this afternoon, how about you?

But instead we wait. With baited breath we wait. Holding fast to the promise that he said, “Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” (Revelation 22:12). So do not be weary in doing good! Do not give up on clinging to His promise! One day Jesus really will be coming to get us – to take us home, to be with him. We are strangers on this earth, but one day we will be friends. Hold fast. Don’t give up. Trust. Believe.

This was the response: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. “ Psalm 46

He is faithful. He is coming. He is God. Thought maybe you would be encouraged too….

Pain.

Discomfort.

Questioning.

Loneliness.

Hurt.

Injustice.

These are words I can think of when I think of my mom’s situation.

This is where it can be easy to dwell. This is where Satan wants us to dwell.

Christ came to bring:

Encouragement

Life.

Peace.

Resolution.

Community.

Healing.

Justice.

Hope.

This is where it can be hard to dwell. This is where Jesus wants us to dwell.

There are days when all I can hope for is that Jesus will one day redeem us. When life can feel like a big whirr of nothing, I can reach out in the abyss and find a mighty and outstretched arm to hold on to. No, sometimes His hope cannot be immediately seen in the circumstance. Sometimes blow after blow comes, and we almost forget that we are more than conquerors. But then in the fog of the moment, we hear a voice that reminds us that we can get up, that He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world. The power of God is greater than any spiritual stronghold that might try to keep us down. He is always here. The following song has been very encouraging to me lately. It is by Matt Redman.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never]]> Discouragement.

Pain.

Discomfort.

Questioning.

Loneliness.

Hurt.

Injustice.

These are words I can think of when I think of my mom’s situation.

This is where it can be easy to dwell. This is where Satan wants us to dwell.

Christ came to bring:

Encouragement

Life.

Peace.

Resolution.

Community.

Healing.

Justice.

Hope.

This is where it can be hard to dwell. This is where Jesus wants us to dwell.

There are days when all I can hope for is that Jesus will one day redeem us. When life can feel like a big whirr of nothing, I can reach out in the abyss and find a mighty and outstretched arm to hold on to. No, sometimes His hope cannot be immediately seen in the circumstance. Sometimes blow after blow comes, and we almost forget that we are more than conquerors. But then in the fog of the moment, we hear a voice that reminds us that we can get up, that He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world. The power of God is greater than any spiritual stronghold that might try to keep us down. He is always here. The following song has been very encouraging to me lately. It is by Matt Redman.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You”

I love the part that says, “I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on and there will be an end to these troubles…” As we hold on to the promises, as He clings to us and we cling to him, there will be an end to all of our troubles. Who should we fear? God is for us. He is with us. Why are we downcast? Why so disturbed in our hearts? We can put our hope in God. We can praise Him, our Savior and our God (Psalm 42:5).

He doesn’t let go. Not ever.

Irene and JoAnna were out early this morning, making the shopping rounds at several stores.  While they were out, I was able to get in a long bike ride.  Irene relaxed this afternoon before celebrating JoAnna’s 24th birthday at Café Cruz for dinner.

Irene is fatigued and very nauseated but continues to defy the challenge by engaging each day to its fullest with hope and optimism and a smile!!!

We are …. walking with faith,

Dave

Tomorrow, December 6, 2007, there is another person we celebrate. This celebration does not include a manger and a cross, but, rather, Portuguese meat, pickles, French bread, and, of course, presents. This person never walked on water, made the lame walk, or redeemed the world, but he has had impact none the less. This website is a prime example. Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday. And it’s not just any birthday; it’s his 50th birthday. This year he did not give his life on a cross, but he gave his life in other ways to help support my mom and to continue to support our family. So, if you feel like it, share with my dad what he means to you and help make his day ultra special.

Happy birthday, Dad!

“He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you When suffering hangs heavy o’er your head Know that tomorrow brings Wholeness and healing God knows your need Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes Strength for fear Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When what you’ve done keeps you from moving on When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart Know that forgiveness brings Wholeness and healing God knows your need Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me Though I was bound I’ve been set free I’ve been made righteous in His sight A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair”

I think of this often when I think of all that my mom has been through. I often think that one day]]> As I was driving in to work this morning, with tired eyes I gazed up into the morning sky. I suddenly saw an array of purples and oranges hovering over the sunrise. It looked like a sherbet sunset. My immediate reaction was, “Oh! How beautiful!” But then I remembered that the reason for this assortment of colors stemmed from massive fires throughout Southern California that are burning homes, vegetation, and everything else in their way. I suddenly felt bad for thinking that the sky looked beautiful. But then I thought, “Isn’t that just like God to still make something beautiful out of a horrible situation?” I thought of Isaiah 61:3 that states that God will “provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” God literally was creating beauty out of ashes. They were displaying the splendor of God.
There is an older song sung by Crystal Lewis called “Beauty for Ashes.” These are the lyrics:

“He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy o’er your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When what you’ve done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound I’ve been set free
I’ve been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair”

I think of this often when I think of all that my mom has been through. I often think that one day God IS going to bring beauty for ashes. As suffering hangs “heavy o’er [her] head,” I also pray that he will bring “wholeness and healing” so that we can see his goodness “in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

Though sometimes all we can see, taste, and smell is the ash and smoke, God has beauty for ashes waiting when the smoke clears and the flames die away. For though, when the fire comes, everything is destroyed, we have faith and believe that he will beautifully rebuild us in Him.