JoAnna’s Journal

As I was driving in to work this morning, with tired eyes I gazed up into the morning sky. I suddenly saw an array of purples and oranges hovering over the sunrise. It looked like a sherbet sunset. My immediate reaction was, “Oh! How beautiful!” But then I remembered that the reason for this assortment of colors stemmed from massive fires throughout Southern California that are burning homes, vegetation, and everything else in their way. I suddenly felt bad for thinking that the sky looked beautiful. But then I thought, “Isn’t that just like God to still make something beautiful out of a horrible situation?” I thought of Isaiah 61:3 that states that God will “provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” God literally was creating beauty out of ashes. They were displaying the splendor of God.
There is an older song sung by Crystal Lewis called “Beauty for Ashes.” These are the lyrics:

“He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy o’er your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

When what you’ve done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound I’ve been set free
I’ve been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes, Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning, Peace for despair”

I think of this often when I think of all that my mom has been through. I often think that one day

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In light of my dad’s entry today, I immediately thought about this song:

“Caught in the half-light, I’m caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I’m tied-up, what’s holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I’ve forgotten help me to find
All that You’ve promised let it be in my life

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made”

My mom loves this Chris Tomlin song – this is how she lives her life. When I think about what God calls us to do as Christians, this is exactly it. He wants to take over our lives. We have each been made for a specific purpose. He has redeemed our lives for a very definite reason. He wants us to live with reckless abandon. Not like the world sees reckless abandon – the world’s motto is: “Have fun – do what you want, when you want.” God’s reckless abandon comes as we recklessly run into His love and give our lives over to Him. He wants us to love others with all our hearts, He wants us to give as though the resources will never run out, He wants us to fulfill the purpose that He has for us day by day. Not so that we can give Him a list of all the great things that we have done, but so that His

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She carries herself with grace and beauty – therefore she was sometimes seen as weak. But the Strength my mom carries with her makes her strong. Her body has never seemed frailer, but her spirit has never been so unbreakable.

To hear my mom teasing again, to see her smile again, to watch her moving around the house is a gift from God. God has turned our mourning into dancing, made beauty from ashes. Joy has come from sorrow. Every day is still a struggle – a struggle to walk up and down a flight of stairs, a struggle to look at a plate of delicious food but to almost see it as an enemy, a struggle to stay positive and patient. But we have seen God with our eyes. As Job proclaims “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You” (Job 42:5). We have seen God work in very desperate circumstances. He has proven His power. He is displaying His riches.

While some days are good and some days are bad right now, we thank God for every day that we are alive. We thank God that He has made every day – we rejoice and are glad. He has shown us that He follows through on his promises. He promises to never leave us or forsake us – He hasn’t yet. He promises to give us peace beyond all understanding – He has completely. He doesn’t promise that struggles won’t come, but He has promised to be there every step of the way. And through this journey, He has revealed Himself to be an ever-present, faithful God, true to His word.

We keep walking, keep trusting, and keep believing. God has been faithful – now it’s our turn to return the favor.

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