How many people are in your RELATIONSHIP cemetery?

What do I mean by that?  How many people are you not communicating with today that you used to communicate with on a regular basis?  Think about a relationship where a conflict arose and that person is no longer someone you want anything to do with.  You have, in essence, buried that relationship.  I must confess that I have at least one in my 50+ years on this earth.

Irene had another rough day at dialysis.  She experienced physical pain throughout the duration of the treatment.  It took several needle “sticks” to get the fistula working and they still needed to access the chest catheter to make it all work.  The nausea was fierce.  She’s finding the three day a week dialysis/needle episode a significant emotional challenge.  In other words, she really needs to be mentally prepared for each episode.

We are learning to keep “short accounts” with the Lord and people.  When conflicts arise, time is NOT our ally and the passing of time only erodes relationships if not decisively and appropriately addressed.

So, here’s the question:  Are you (and am I) ready for the challenge of a “Courageous Conversation”?

According to www.noblecall.org, the following are guidelines and questions for a “courageous conversation”:

Speaker:

• Speak the truth in love
• Provide a safe environment for listening
• State the facts you are basing your feelings on instead of making your feelings the facts
• Allow the listener to summarize the meaning of your statements
• Clarify statement until listener has understood the message to your satisfaction

Listener:

• Listen from the speaker’s perspective
• Show respect by staying in the conversation
• Do not complain, explain or blame
• Restate the meaning of the message to the speaker’s satisfaction
• Gain wisdom and develop understanding to establish relationships of trust, and use knowledge to resolve issues.

Use the following questions to facilitate your “courageous conversation”:

1. What is your most pressing issue?
2. In addition to this, is there something else?
3. How is this affecting you?
4. What will the future be like if nothing changes?
5. What do you see as my responsibility for this issue?
6. What do you see as your responsibility for this issue?
7. What does the preferable future look like to you?
8. What is the powerful thing we can agree to ask God for?
9. Based on the above, what is the one thing that we cannot fail to do?
10. What practical steps must we take to make this happen?

The above insights provide immeasurable context to facilitate relational HEALING and reconciliation.

So, here is your homework assignment.  First pray, then identify WHO you need to reconcile with and establish a “courageous conversation”.  This is someone you know, in your heart of hearts, that resurrecting the relationship is the right thing to do and that the passing of time is only eroding that relationship.  Call that person TODAY and schedule a meeting.

How many people are in your RELATIONSHIP cemetery?  Only you can answer that question …. and you now have several tools for reconciliation.  The issue is whether or not you will take action.

I’m taking action and making my call today.

The ball, as they say, is in your court.

Caminando con Fé

Dave