9 p.m. ….

We were a couple of “kids” in 1978 …. with high hopes and dreams like most dating couples in their early 20’s ….

And where were we spiritually? Unfortunately …. absolutely nowhere!!!!!!

Nonetheless, Irene and I were married on March 1, 1980 and in late November of that year our world was “rocked” when our first daughter was born two months prematurely.  She had a severely deformed esophagus attached to her lung …. referred to medically as a TE Fistula which required a life saving emergency surgery in order to survive.  It was that experience that catapulted us toward faith in Christ.  Today, we’re eternally grateful for Jocelyn’s 26+ years of life which made it through such traumatic beginnings!  God also blessed us with a healthy JoAnna three years later and we’re forever thankful for her 23+ years!

But these opening comments are merely a prelude to the crux of today …. We hear that when two people marry the “two shall become one flesh”.  You may know of married couples that separate or divorce when crisis strikes.  So, here are some questions to consider:

• Can a couple unify SPIRITUALLY and RELATIONALLY so that they not only overcome adversity when it strikes but actually “ …. become more one ….” through it?
• Is it really possible for two people to “become one” in today’s world …. or is becoming one in heart, mind and soul merely a distant fantasy or fairytale dream?
• Is it possible to still be on your “honeymoon” years after the wedding date?

Asked yet another way, how does a marriage get strong and grow even more robust, even when facing dire life and death circumstances?  The easy times are just that …. “easy”.  It’s when circumstances get TOUGH that often times make life and relationships very difficult to successfully navigate.

I ask these questions because some people are graciously complimenting the way in which we’re dealing with this “little matter” confronting Irene called Primary Amyloidosis.  Please forgive the personal reference, but what we want to carefully communicate is HOW we’re managing through the crisis together.  How we’re doing it may or may not surprise you …. because it isn’t about us at all….

Irene and I have been married a short 27 years.  Because of the normal stress and strain of relationships, early on we had to become intentional about growing and cultivating our marriage.  And we did.  We began using Biblical tools and working on our marriage intentionally, EVERY SINGLE DAY.  There is no “auto pilot” for a successful marriage.  It’s a journey, not a destination.  It is a road that is always under construction and never complete.  I’m grateful that we are making the “investment” in each other …. 100% of the time.  Our growing intimacy and relational fulfillment today is in direct proportion to our growing spiritual walk in obedience to Christ.  He is the answer.  It is Christ in us that allow us to walk victoriously through this chapter in our lives.

“….God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
Colossians 1:27

Irene and I also love “windshield time”.  Simply riding to any destination is okay with us …. it’s just the notion of being together …. it’s this place that often allows us to share our ongoing hopes, dreams, joys, struggles, fears, pain and sorrows.  And after all these years we’re still getting to know each other with an exciting new discovery almost everyday.  How is this so, you ask?  It’s because we go into each day with a great sense of expectation that something new is going to be learned.  By the way, windshield time is also a great way to pray together …. just make sure that you keep your eyes open if you’re the one driving!!

We know that without Christ in the center of the relationship “holding it together”, our efforts are futile.  Ecclesiastes 4 is very clear:

“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Christ is the third strand in the cord, holding us together.

Today’s been another good day for Irene.  She even remembered how to use the credit card at Trader Joe’s!!!  Her nausea was at a “low rumble” today …. Irene, Jocelyn, JoAnna and I joined Jack, Phyllis, their daughter Denise and Phil Tuttle for a light and informal dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and have now settled in for the evening.  Irene does have dialysis early tomorrow morning, which, of course, is Labor Day.

We’re grateful that while facing another “life and death” crisis we’re better equipped and prepared this time around.  We couldn’t “TiVo” life when the crisis hit to suddenly begin working on our spiritual life or marriage.  We had, for years, been consistently investing in our relationship with Jesus at the core of our union.  He is our foundation and He is who we lean on today.  But please don’t misunderstand …. we certainly haven’t arrived …. and never will …. but we are in process.  We’re still growing daily and working on our marriage 24/7.

And we are certainly not holding ourselves out as an example …. but we are lifting up CHRIST and His Word as the ANSWER.  If there is anything good in us or our relationship it is Him.

“….they may see your good deeds and glorify God….”
1 Peter 2:12b

To God’s glory we are “becoming one”. Our marriage is more vibrant today than on our wedding date.  We’re grateful for God’s grace …. combined with His powerful Word and Work in our lives making our joy filled marriage an abundant reality.

Caminando con Fé
Dave